I Have No Idea How I Got Here
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you look around and think, “I have no idea how I got here?”
In college I was part of a student-run news station called UNI-TV. In one of my less-than-stellar moments in life, I decided to dress up as Cupid for our Valentine’s Day special. My “costume” consisted of nothing more than heart-shaped sun glasses, the word “Cupid” drawn on my chest, and a “diaper”–white gym shorts rolled up entirely too short. Don’t believe me? Here’s visual proof:
Needless to say, I don’t share this image very often. Nevertheless, here I am telling you along with all of the Internets.
See, I used to be ashamed of this part of my story. In college, I was much different than I am now. Many of you reading can attest to that. This image captures a lot of who that person was. It captures what I chose to communicate to the rest of the world back then: Clueless, brash, arrogant, womanizer, drunk. I look back on my life at the University of Northern Iowa and think sometimes, “How did I get there?”
How did I get in a fist fight that left me with a nearly-fractured orbital bone?
How did I drink so much that I literally forget what happened the entire night before?
How did I get on Cedar Falls public television wearing nothing but my gym shorts?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you look around and think, “I have no idea how I got here?”
Imagine my surprise when, not too long ago, I got an email from Tim Schraeder, communications guru at Park Church. In it, Tim asked me to be a part of a project he was putting together. The project, then yet to be titled, was going to be a collection of church communication people from all over the country (world?) sharing their stories.
“Me?” I thought. “Did he mean to send this email to me?” I was a bit dumbfounded. Some of the other names on the email were people I look up to. People who influence me in myriad different ways. People who’ve left an imprint on me, whether they’re aware of it or not. People like Leonard Sweet, Ben Arment, Kem Meyer, Cynthia Ware and on, and on.
Have you ever looked around and thought, “I have no idea how I got here?”
Thus, OUTSPOKEN was born. A collection of church communications leaders and influencers telling their stories. Sharing how God communicates to them and how we, in turn, communicate his reality to the rest of the world. Somehow or another, in the irony of Providence, I found my way onto this project. “How did I get here?”
I try not to use this language very much, mostly because I think it’s been horribly abused, but I feel like this is God moving powerfully in my life. Going from a punk 21-year-old kid with nothing but his own self on his mind, to an almost 30-year-old being asked to contribute to a project that is, by all accounts, filled with the best and brightest the Church has to offer. Once again, “how did I get here?”
I’m humbled, I’m grateful. In a strange way, I feel some redemption from my “I’ll wear gym shorts on public television because I can, dammit!” phase. God’s using me to communicate something of himself to the rest of the word. Sheesh. Talk about grace. I cannot wait for you to experience this collection first hand.
In the meantime, follow the progress of the book on Twitter or check us out on Facebook. And be sure to check out Tim’s post explaining the whole project. It’s a good read.
Don’t let anyone ever make you feel ashamed for the person you used to be. God can use, clean it up, turn it around and change the world through it. Believe that. His grace is wider, bigger, stronger, taller than any goof, gaffe, or blunder you’ve made or could ever make. Trust me. I’m living in that reality right now. A reality that, as you might guess, leaves me wondering sometimes, “How did I get here?”
I'm right there with you. I have no idea how I got here, either.
I guess that's the beautiful thing about God's grace in all of our lives. None of us deserve what we have but only God [and this is the cheesiest thing I will EVER say] can take our mess, be it our embarrassing college days or whatever, and turn it into a message.
Thank you for being open, vulnerable and for sharing that hilarious picture… and thank you for how you've allowed God to work in your life. I'm so excited for everything you're doing and for you being a part of this project!
We're all in this together!
Fantastic … love to see how He redeems – I've been there. I'll be down your way for a concert at Grace U in Omaha in Aug. & you can be sure I'll be saying “How did I get here?”
Huh. I always figured you shaved your chest.
Sadly, that's the “real deal.” Bare as the Sahara.
I say that a lot myself. How did I get here. sometimes in a negative way and sometimes in a positive way.
I do not know how you got there, but I am glad you got there. You have had some great stuff on this blog and other blogs and I cannot wait to see what you have to say in this book. Great stuff man.
That's an awesome picture. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves where we've been to really see how much God has blessed us. Because the only way we get where we are is through God. Great post!
my good friend @jan_lynn is a part of this too!
This is seriously the greatest post ever. Wow.
I couldn't agree more.
This is a topic I've actually been thinking about lately. Oddly enough, in the context of tattoos. I have a friend from college who has a LOT of tattoos. And some of them, looking at them now, can best be described as “dumb.” (Examples: band logos for bands he no longer listens to, straight edge x's even though that ship has sailed, a ship) I was thinking: what if that was me, wearing those permanent marks of a prior life?
I didn't have to think long. While I'm not the type to be covered in tattoos, I really like the idea of this permanent collection–display–of who you used to be. Having it all out there and not trying to hide it, working it into who you are now.
Also, I have a friend from my way past who “found God” and forgot her past. She was suddenly a virgin again and knew no one from before she was reborn. As in–you did not exist to her. I never got this. I never got how you can ignore who you “used” to be–no matter how painful it is to think of–and just turn the other cheek to people. You don't have to be proud of your mistakes, but I feel it is important to acknowledge them. Would she have ended up in the place she was, spiritually, had she not made those mistakes? Because of my experience with her, I have been careful to ALWAYS own up–no matter how painful that can be. Yes, I've been an ugly person at time but I recognize that and want to strive to DO BETTER. That's ME.
So, long rant, but great post!
” don’t let anyone ever make you feel ashamed for the person you used to be. God can use, clean it up, turn it around and change the world through it.”
awesome. awesome. awesome. i love the 'how did i get here?' moments. they remind me of how powerful God's grace is.
Ever?! Dude. That's huge. Thanks for stopping by!
For realz. I don't know what your story is, Abby, but believe that God can use it!
Justin, love this post. What a great piece of testimony to have to lead you into battle on a daily basis.
Justin, love this post. What a great piece of testimony to have to lead you into battle on a daily basis.