How to Get What You Want (Nearly Every Time)
There are two ways to get what you want in the world:
- Push
- Pull
The first way is how most of the world works. Most people push their way through life, getting what they want by force. “Because I said so!” exemplifies this way of thinking.
Push their family members around.
Push colleagues and employees around.
Push their customers around.
Because they said so.
But there’s a better way: Pull.
Dwight Eisenhower famously stated, “Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.” When you pull people along with you, you invite them on a journey:
Pulling your son along while you treat others with dignity and respect.
Pulling advertisers and sponsors along as friends and not just a paycheck.
Pulling your employees along as you let them think and act for themselves, gently correcting along the way.
Because they said so.
No doubt about it, pulling takes much longer than pushing. The cost of pulling, however, is exponentially lower than pushing. Trust me.
I want people to feel pulled along their own path when they’re with me, not pushed through some foreign, self-made agenda. I want to be a puller, not a pusher. Don’t you?
Describe a time when you’ve felt pulled vs. pushed; pushed vs. pulled. What was the main difference between the two?
I think that’s the difference between a poor leader and a great leader. A poor leader just tells people what to do and what to think. A great leader invites people into his/her vision and empowers them in their gifts. I was lucky enough to “grow up” under a great leader in my former church who invited me into the vision of the church and empowered me in my gifts and my ministry – and gave me the freedom to do it my way.
You nailed it. Great leaders pull, most leaders push.
What did it feel like when you got that invitation from the leader in your former church?
I definitely made me feel like someone believed in me and the vision I had for my life and that I was a part of something greater than myself. Not to mention there is a freedom you feel when you’re on a team that values different ideas, strategies, and input and isn’t about trying to get you to fit into a mold you weren’t created to fit in, if that makes sense.
It’s the same leadership style I’m trying to develop within my ministry now.
2 mentoring situations come to mind.
Pushed-a mentor who told me he would mentor me but I constantly had to call him, always had to ask to meet with him, and had to constantly reschedule meetings because he was “too busy”
Pulled-a mentor who calls me out of the blue to tell me we are going to lunch. Tells other people about me. doesn’t look to what he can gain from my relationship but looks to make me better.
That illustrates for me.
That D Eisenhower quote is money
I can even feel the difference in the way that you described them! Powerful principle….