7 Reasons Why I Don’t Like Most Christians
Full Disclosure: Before I get started, you need to know this is a blatant rip-off of Tony Morgan’s post by (almost) the same name. Kudos to him for thinking of the idea. Now I’m going to steal it and put my own spin on it. /Full Disclosure.
Usually I like spending my time thinking of a solution rather than the problem. I am, to use a theological term, a “critical realist.” A pessimistic optimist. For me, the glass is usually half-full.
This post will be a little different. I think those of us who follow Jesus need to own up to the fact that we’ve really blown it. Not blown it in a, “we’re all sinners saved by grace,” kind of way, but in a “you’re an ignorant jerk” kind of way. This list is my best attempt to pull the skeletons out of our church closet. Here’s why I don’t like most Christians:
1. We shoot our wounded. Christians should be the most tender and merciful to their own brothers and sisters, but too often fallen Christians are the ones we’re quickest to demonize. Look at how we’ve treated Ted Haggard, Todd Bentley, and Jimmy Swaggart, to name a few. Maybe it’s to save some face. Maybe it’s to gain clout with an unbelieving world. Maybe it’s because we think we could do better. Whatever the reason, it bugs me. (And keep in mind, I’m as guilty as anyone. I’ve done it, on this blog even.)
2. We put spiritual sounding language on things to make them sound better.
What we say: “I’ve fasted and prayed really hard about this, so this is what I think we should do.
What we mean: “I’m unsure about my decision and too scared of conflict to state my wishes plainly, so I’m going to use power language so you can’t argue with me and I get my way.” I’ve seen it a thousand times. I’m sure you have to. This undermines the times where God does truly speak to us in profound ways through prayer. Stop it.
3. We divorce each other. A lot. The Christian divorce rate is no better, and in some cases higher, than those who don’t consider themselves Christian. This makes Christians look silly and our beliefs paper thin. If you’re married, stay married. Die to yourself. Don’t quit.
4. We are lousy tippers. One of the most popular posts on this site is called “Christians Are the Worst Tippers Ever.” It’s popular for a reason: It’s true. Read the post, but more importantly, read the comments. They’re filled with servers, Christians and non-Christians alike, who can attest to the fact that followers of Jesus are tightwads. Prove them wrong. Tip more.
5. We belittle people and then expect them to listen about Jesus’ love for them. There is a local talk show here in Des Moines that has a “Christian” conservative on as a regular guest. In one breath, he will berate one of the hosts of the show because he doesn’t lean the same way politically, and in the next breath he will talk about what he did at church the past weekend. It makes me irate. Disagree with people, fine, but please treat them like they’re a human being.
6. We copy, we don’t innovate. As Christians, we have the living Spirit of Christ within us. Suffice to say, he’s pretty creative. If the Holy Spirit ever took high school art, he would get an A+. So why do we spend so much time aping what the world does instead of asking that same Spirit to breath through us to create something that’s never been created before?
7. We think we know everything. This one could take all day. I’ll save you, though. The more I know Christ, the less I am sure of. And not just spiritual things, everything. That’s why I don’t understand why cranky Christians think they have a lock on everything from who’s going to hell to who’s going to win the election (or who should win the election) to what day we should hold services on. God is great and knows all. We do not.
What do you think? Do you have anything to add to this list? I do not intend for this to be a bash session, but somebody’s got to say it. Let’s clear the air. Discuss.
Yes, seven times over. There must be times where Jesus has a hard time recognizing us as His followers.
#8. We openly hate our enemies and find personal joy in God's impending judgement of others. I can't tell you how many times I've read or heard the words of judgemental Christians finding satisfaction in the eternal doom of sinners. A sort of “wait till those evil people get theirs” sort of attitude.
They might want to take a moment to read Matthew 7:1-5. Although they'd have a little trouble reading the words past the log in their eye.
response to #3: more than 80% of Americans call themselves “Christians”. In that sense the divorce rate is about the same. As Pastor Mike mentioned in the marriage sermon a few weeks ago though, among Christians who attend and participate in their church regularly, that rate is MUCH lower.
#8: we create huge divisions within the Church [Christians as a whole] by arguing about minor theological doctrines such as creation and baptism and women in leadership. This leads to setting a bad example for those people who don't yet know Christ. It's so sad.
I tell you true, I have, within the last year, almost walked away from the Church (I am Catholic) because of the words and actions of my Christian brethren. If some of those people are what I am supposed to be, I want NOTHING to do with Christianity.
I realize though, that what others do is not what matters, it's what I do that counts. I'm still working through this dark valley, but because I am a hopeful soul (I love your “pessimistic optimist” by the way), I will look for the brightness. I know He is still there, and we'll get on the same page again one day soon.
I am giving an “Amen” to everything, especially #2. I have never seen our “spiritual language” that way before but you are so right. It is manipulative and a power play to get what we want without really asking. Wow. Thanks for the post!
@Susan: Stay strong, sister. You'll make it through! If nothing else, I have learned the reality that our faith is only safe is Jesus. No one else. He is King, let him guide you.
@Marie: #2 is my biggest pet peeve. Mostly because it's a lose-lose: Say, “no, you're wrong” to the person and they think you're a heretic because you've doubted what they – I mean God – said. Say, “yes, you are correct” and it furthers destructive behavior.
Well I came across this by fluke….
maybe…
christian international schools in other Countries than the USA pay less than non-christian international schools. Why? One reason is that missionaries are expected by their “Boards” to live a below-par life using second-hand tea bags to brew tea, and show a life of sacrifice which wears them out amidst the pressures of life. On the other hand, where I live in Thailand, there are some missionaries who live in the best compounds and drive big four-wheel drives and are so far above the locals that it is obscene to live in this exploiting way…but they are happy with the big USA way and that's fixed! They are a not-so-good testimony but do they realize it?…NO! For the most part do they share their homes?…NO! My point is this:- how on earth can christians hope to represent Christ when the extremes of outright MEANY and INDULGENT INSENSITIVE BLOCKHEAD prevail?
Best post to date. This is reaching far more people.
I wonder if #7 would be better written as “We think we should know everything (and so we act like we do).” I doubt most Christians really think they know everything; rather, there is a pervasive feeling that we should have an answer for everything because we're Christians and if we don't, we can't let on to other people that we just don't know. That would be like saying God doesn't know, or Christianity is inferior or something.
Thanks Justin, for your encouragement!
glad you posted this. i totally relate to the “not innovating” one…
Good points. people need to read this.
How about most of us ignorantly deny highly proven scientific principles. A lot of Christians automatically oppose scientific principles without ever re-thinking how that science might fit into a world that God meant to work that way.
Organized religion is all about money, property, and power, and the more conservative the religion is, the more they focus on those topics. I have been on a long spiritual journey, from being raised fundamentalist Baptist to American Baptist as a young adult to Unitarian to Quaker. Now I profess no religion at all and question the value of organized religion in my life. I believe it all comes down to treating others as you wish to be treated (a sentiment expressed in all the major world religions) and leaving the world a better place than you found it.
Having said all that, I don't want to judge Christians harshly for the times when they fail. They are only human, after all. I become concerned when some Christian groups stand in judgment of others and come off as superior to non-Christians (or to Christians who interpret the Bible differently). Remember, you are only human! Who is to say that someone else's way of living or thinking is not just as good as yours?
A rate is not a total amount, but rather a number per unit. So it does not matter if there were 10% or 80% Christians in the USA, a divorce rate is the proportion of those people who fall into a category who get divorced. Math time!
Let us have a population of 100 married couples. 80, or 80%, of them are Christian, and the other 20, 20%, are non-Christians. If the oft said divorce rate of 50% was true, then half of all of these couples would divorce (40 and 10, respectively). Regardless of actual numbers, what matters is the proportion and this makes the divorce rate. What #3 was saying was that in some areas, more Christians proportionally get divorced (ie- more than the 40 couples compared to 10 or less couples).
Didn't David clearly do that in Psalms? I think that dichotomy in and of itself creates alot of confusion in the believer. There's plenty of “wait till those evil people get theirs” in Scripture itself, so what are we supposed to do with that?
Ah yes, David did do that…but as followers of Christ we are Christians, not Davidians…scripture does not exhort us to follow anything David said or did…except to follow God and worship him alone.
By this they will know that we have the love of Christ in us; if we have love one for another (and that includes towards them). Let us love them all into heaven, not curse them all to hell.
WOW! I love this! I just found your site, and read this, and man, I feel EXACTLY the same way! Thank God for this generation of believers, who are just so straight up about the things of God. God is so amazing, so awesome, I'm glad that we have people that can just be REAL and not RELIGIOUS! God is really separating all those (in my opinion!) “phony” Christians who put up a front, and real people who JUST LOVE JESUS AND THAT'S IT! They just want to do whatever God says, not be weird, be themselves, and just bring God's kingdom everywhere. Thank you!
Michael … Thanks for your kind words! The key, I think, is to be honest without sounding cranky. Hopefully I've done that well!
Thanks again … And welcome to the community.
Well, arn't we just a Holy lot? lol
Sad that we can be classified as copiers and not innovaters – we are supposed to be disciples of the CREATOR, besides the fact that we are created in His image. So we should rather be known for the stuff we create and the awesome ideas we come up with (giving God the create all the time)
Great post! I really like number 2, now that you say it, that is a good way to get your way.
Reason # 1 should be:
1) Because Christians focus on other peoples' sin more than their own. We take away rights from gay people instead of treating them fairly and letting God be the judge.
Here's another I would like to add: We talk about how Powerful & mighty our God is but we run away in fear when some ones talks about our aura, phsycic abilities, astral travel, shaman healers etc…. When will the Church world ever get off their booties and start realising that these are all counterfiets of God's power and instead of witch covens, spiritualists etc doing these acts… We should be at the forefront of it!! Start moving in the supernatural, start seeing in the spirit… become the manifested sons of God that the world is groaning for!!
I just stumbled upon this. Wow. Love it.
Just discovered this post, and site…. good stuff!
I especially connected with #1 – one of the sorriest things I have heard in the last few years was how Ted Haggard had no one from his (former at that point?) congregation help him move. It's as certain as death and taxes that a person needs help moving and it would have sent a message to the world if people who used to be (but still should be) his friends had've said “to heck with what people think, a man needs help moving and we're here to help you Ted”.
Todd Bentley kicks women in the face by his own admission. He literally beats up sick people who come to him for “healing”? At one point will you ever condemn someone's behavior? Physical abuse is not enough?
Calling someone out for physically abusing people is not “hate.” It's called being a responsible citizen. What about Bentley's victims? Should we just brush them under the rug to be “loving” to Bentley? That just makes no sense.
I know you are trying to make non-Christians feel welcome and show them that you are a very reasonable everyman but come on. This is bordering on the ridiculous.
So Justin,
New to your site and curious what your version of a religious deviant is? I've never heard the term before and wonder how the two words fit together? And also curious how you're “creatively exploring the riches of the Spirit of Christ.”
Sounds exciting to say the least.
I felt “convicted” reading some of the points above, but am curious what solutions you offer for your assertions? That's what I would love to read as a post. Have you written one that I missed? Again, I'm new and very open to reading whatever you want to share since I think you have an interesting perspective.
Maybe a little judgmental too, but that's par for the course as a “religious” person, right?:)
I came here as a birth mother wondering what you have to say about adoption and will read that next.
Joy … First and foremost: WELCOME. Glad to have you on board here at BeDeviant.
Re: Deviant. Check out our About page (http://bedeviant.com/about) … We address that question specifically.
Re: Exploration. Quantum physics. It's all about quantum physics. No joke!
Re: Solutions … Not sure yet. Would you have any to offer? I'm not sure how to get around some of them other than just being a decent human being.
I love the un-creative part. we usually tend to just copy even copy from the world because i think that's easier but we always forget that our God is like the source of creativity. if we tap on Him then surely creative juices come out without a sweat.
About the We think we know everything: not to disagree but to clarify and not sound defensive. sometimes we believe for something and we hold on to that not really looking at knowing everything but knowing because we believe that God can do something. about the who's going to hell…now that's wrong. we can only say for ourselves.
There's a really interesting book titled Rapture Ready by Daniel Radosh, a journalist who spent several months investigating Christian pop culture. He made some interesting discoveries about derivative work when it comes to Christian music, books, apparel, films, theme parks, comedy, and many other creative outlets that make up this $7 billion industry. Just an idea if you wanted to explore this concept further…
Dawn … I've been wanting to read that book for some time. I read an article with Radosh and I've been intrigued ever since.
What did you think of the book?
Dawn … I've been wanting to read that book for some time. I read an article with Radosh and I've been intrigued ever since.
What did you think of the book?